


She's Not Yours

by AlexIsNotHere



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 08:54:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24468310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexIsNotHere/pseuds/AlexIsNotHere
Summary: Three years ago Maki kissed Nico, and Nico told her she didn't feel the same way. Every day since then Nico has wondered if she made the right choice. Now that Maki has started dating Tsubasa, she's almost positive she didn't.
Relationships: Kira Tsubasa/Nishikino Maki, Nishikino Maki/Yazawa Nico
Comments: 25
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

It was the music room, where Nico and Maki had kissed for the first and only time. It was the day of Nico’s graduation from Otonokizaka, and the two of them had ended up there alone. A year of dancing around their feelings, a year of both being too stubborn to admit how they felt about each other, a year of trying to mask and ignore what was in both of their hearts, all coming to a head as Maki grabbed Nico and shoved her against the wall and pushed their lips together, and for that beautiful, fleeting moment Nico had thought that maybe this was right, that maybe she could really let this happen. But it had come too late. There had been a long silence after Maki had broken away, Nico still held against the wall, avoiding Maki’s eyes for the longest time until she finally spoke.

“I don’t think I want this.” Nearly three years had passed since that day, and Nico could still recall with vivid clarity the look on Maki’s face when she’d said that. Normally Maki was so good at burying her feelings and hiding what was really on her mind, but in that moment it had all been written so plainly across her expression, and the rarity of it made it hurt that much more.

“Why?” she had asked, with more emotion, more anger and confusion and pain than Nico ever would have thought a single word could hold.

“I just-”

“You’re telling me this now? You waited this long to say something?”

“I’m… I’m graduating,” Nico had said. “I’m leaving Tokyo, and I-”

“I don’t care about that. I don’t care about the distance. I don’t care how far apart we are. I just- I want to be with you.” Another long pause followed that, as Nico pulled her eyes away from Maki again, as she swallowed once, as she tried to build up the courage to say what she had to say.

“I just… I don’t want that,” Nico insisted. “And I don’t think you want that either.” Another pause, and then Nico felt Maki’s grip on her loosen until it let go entirely. She slumped down against the wall, and she watched as Maki turned around and walked towards the doorway.

“Don’t tell me what I want,” she had said, before exiting the room. And that was the last time Nico had seen her before leaving Tokyo.

Nearly three years had passed since then. Nico had, of course, seen Maki again since then, though things had never quite recovered. Whenever they hung out together it was with a group, with Eli or Nozomi or Rin or Kotori there to act as a buffer. They avoided looking at each other too much, avoided talking directly to each other too much, and in all the years that had passed since that late afternoon in the music room, they had never once spoken of it.

A year ago Maki herself had graduated, and from there she had enrolled at a prestigious music program at a university right at home in the heart of Tokyo. Nico was… proud of Maki, she supposed. She knew how difficult it must have been for Maki to pursue music over the path her parents wanted her to walk, and she couldn’t imagine how that conversation must have gone. It took a lot of courage for someone to be true to themself in that way, and Nico was glad Maki had managed to do so. Not that she could ever say as much to the girl’s face.

The more shocking news had come a few months after Maki had enrolled, when Nico had received a text message from Honoka that, in classic Honoka style, was infuriatingly meaningless and far too enthusiastic for how little substance it contained.

“ _did you hear?????_ ” it asked, causing Nico to scowl with frustration over the literally millions of things that could refer to.

“ _hear what?_ ” she had texted back. “ _and if you tell me to guess I swear to god_ ”

“ _tusbasa-chan and maki-chan are dating!!!!_ ” Nico had nearly dropped her phone when she read that. She knew that Tsubasa Kira, in between shows with the still famous as ever A-RISE, was attending the same university that Maki herself had gotten accepted to, but at the time of hearing about that Nico hadn’t thought much of it beyond the little pang of envy she felt towards anyone who was fortunate enough to spend time in the presence of a famous idol like Tsubasa. Nico’s own interactions with Tsubasa back during high school, and those of the rest of the rest of µ's as well, had been limited enough that Nico hadn’t expected Maki and Tsubasa to ever have much more than a passing conversation. Apparently it was true what people said about assumptions.

Nico had tried to get more information about the specifics, had pestered Honoka with more questions, but apparently Maki hadn’t been especially forthcoming with the details in the first place, and whatever useful grain of information _might_ have been there was quickly lost when filtered through Honoka as a narrator. Nico had ultimately ended up turning towards the others, hoping that Nozomi or Eli might be able to provide her with more information, but unfortunately they didn’t seem to know much either. Or if they did, they weren’t willing to tell her.

It was of course, then, completely unrelated when Nico made the decision to go back to Tokyo for a long weekend. She had plenty of other reasons to go back there; her family still lived there, for one, and it had been a while since she had seen her mother and her siblings. Maki wasn’t the only one who had stayed in Tokyo after graduation either, and it would be nice to have a chance to hang out with Rin and Honoka. She missed Akihabara as well, and all her favorite restaurants. And if she so happened to see Maki while she was in town, that would just be a pleasant coincidence.

The coincidence excuse started to go out the window, admittedly, once Nico texted Maki and said that she wanted to see her. It would have been a lot easier if she could have relied on just running into Maki while wandering around Tokyo, but Tokyo was far too large a city to count on something like that happening. Nico told herself she could play this off casually enough, at least, or if nothing else she could make the effort to, but even her attempts to make this all look like it was nothing became even more strained when she texted Maki to ask her to hang out, and _only_ texted Maki. The music room marked the last time Nico and Maki had ever been alone with each other, and ever since then they had both gone through great, deliberate efforts to make sure there were always other people around, always some buffer between them. But surely, three years was enough time for that to no longer be a concern, wasn’t it? Three years was enough time for Nico to ask Maki to hang out without it seeming strange. They had to leave the past behind them eventually.

Still, Nico was a little surprised when Maki actually agreed.

Now Nico found herself sitting on a bench on one of the side streets of Tokyo, outside the mall where she and Maki had agreed to meet. Her legs were crossed over each other, and her hands were fidgeting nervously with each other in her lap, and Nico’s stomach was churning and twisting and flipping over on itself time and time again. Any second now, Nico realized, Maki was going to come into view from down the street, and they were going to see each other, alone, for the first time in years, and then they were going to- What? What were they going to do then? That was the question Nico still couldn’t find an answer to.

What did she really expect to come from all of this? Nico didn’t have an answer, and no matter how hard she tried, she still couldn’t come up with one. She had hoped that one might just present itself to her, that she might have a sudden moment of clarity once she had booked her trip back to Tokyo, or once she was on her way to Tokyo, or once she had arrived there, or once Maki agreed to meet her, or once she actually showed up to see Maki. She kept pushing her own deadline back, telling herself there was still time for whatever epiphany she was going to have. But now time had all but run out, and Nico still didn’t know what she was expecting. She didn’t know whether she was looking for closure, or whether she was aiming to open up a new chapter of her life entirely. Had she come here to win back the girl she had lost all those years ago? Or to finally forget about her for good? That was the sort of thing Nico really should have figured out ahead of time. But she very much hadn’t. Now she was just going to have to figure it out on the fly.

Each passing second spent there on that bench made Nico’s nerves grow worse, and she was getting to the point where she was starting to wonder if it had been a mistake to even come there in the first place. It wasn’t too late to just turn tail and run away, she told herself. Avoid this confrontation entirely. Doing so would surely raise some questions from Maki, and it would probably damage their relationship even more than it had already been damaged. But that still might have been preferable to anything Nico was going to end up saying or doing if they did see each other. In the end, though, Nico waited too long to make that decision. Because as Nico looked up and down the street, watching every pedestrian and passerby that came her direction, she finally saw Maki approaching. And she realized Maki wasn’t alone.

Nico’s heart plummeted down into her stomach when she realized who was walking alongside Maki. They had only met a handful of times, and it had been years since they had seen each other, but Nico had seen her face plastered over enough billboards and storefronts, featured in enough advertisements and music videos since then, that it would have been impossible not to recognize Tsubasa Kira. The only question that left, then, was _what the fuck she was doing there_.

Nico’s conversation with Maki to plan this meeting had been brief, certainly, but in that time she was positive Maki hadn’t said anything about bringing Tsubasa, hadn’t said anything to even _suggest_ that her girlfriend would be tagging along. And even if Nico tried to tell herself that her plan _hadn’t_ been to steal Maki away from Tsubasa or win her back, that still didn’t make her any more comfortable at the thought of being the third wheel on a date between a girl she had kissed back in high school, and the girl who had apparently come along to replace her.

Nico’s heart was racing as she watched Tsubasa and Maki get closer, and while the other two were still talking to each other, it was clear enough that Maki had seen her now. There wasn’t a break in their conversation, but even from the distance that was still left between them Nico could see Maki’s eyes locking onto her own, making her mouth go dry. Nico’s heart was racing, but she tried to force herself up to her feet, tried to act normal and pretend that everything was fine. She just had to be casual. Behave the same way she always did.

“Hey!” Nico called out, giving a wide, enthusiastic wave that was honestly probably a little bit _too_ exaggerated. Tsubasa turned her eyes towards Nico as she and Maki got closer, and a friendly smile appeared at her lips, the same kind Nico had seen on countless posters and magazine spreads before.

“Hello,” Tsubasa replied, her tone friendly, but in that sort of way that was so pristine and polished Nico knew it was the product of years in the public eye. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it, Nico-chan?”

“It has,” Nico agreed. “I, uh… I didn’t know you were gonna be here today, actually.”

“Sorry about that,” Maki cut in. “She insisted on coming along.”

“I hope that’s alright,” Tsubasa said. “I figured it would be a shame to let Maki see you without coming by to say hello myself.” Immediately, Maki’s wording sent a chill down Nico’s spine- _she insisted_. How much did Tsubasa know? How much had Maki told her? If Tsubasa knew the truth about what had happened between them back in high school then it only made sense that she wouldn’t want Maki going to meet with Nico alone. And if that was the case, Tsubasa’s presence suddenly terrified Nico. But of course, she would only be damning herself if she let that show. Instead she forced the smile to stay on her face, trying to keep herself cheerful and positive.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” she insisted. “The more the merrier, right? If you guys haven’t eaten yet I was thinking we could grab lunch first. I know a good Chinese restaurant close to here.”

“That sounds excellent,” Tsubasa replied, reaching down to take Maki’s hand in a way that immediately felt like a knife to Nico’s gut. “Is that alright with you, dear?”

“Yeah. That’s fine,” Maki replied. She didn’t look at Tsubasa as she answered, and she didn’t look at Nico either. Nico had to wonder if Maki felt as terrified by Tsubasa’s presence as she herself did right now- but of course that was a ridiculous thought. Tsubasa was her _girlfriend_. There was no reason Maki would be intimidated by that. Trying to swallow her nerves, Nico pivoted on her heels.

“Right then! Let me lead the way!” She set off down the street after that, and a quick glance behind her was enough to confirm that Maki and Tsubasa were still following, still holding hands as they walked along. Nico immediately averted her gaze, not wanting to see that, but as she looked forward again she realized she didn’t have the slightest clue what to talk about now. She already hadn’t known what she was going to say to Maki when she finally saw her, and that alone had been enough to confuse and intimidate her. Now, with Tsubasa’s presence throwing an unexpected wrench into the mix, the situation was turning into a downright catastrophe. Anything she could possibly say felt like it would be a disaster, but the silence was just as suffocating. It was simultaneously relieving and terrifying, then, when Tusbasa spoke up from behind her.

“So, Nico-chan. What have you been up to these past few years?” The question was so innocent and innocuous, and yet even then it managed to send a shudder down Nico’s spine. Like it was weighted somehow. Like it was some sort of trap.

“I’ve been working, mostly,” Nico answered. “I got a job near Osaka. I live out there now.”

“Right out of high school?” Tsubasa asked. “You didn’t go to uni?” That follow up immediately caused Nico to grip her hands together more tightly, nails digging into her palms. Was Tsubasa’s tone condescending? Was she mocking her? Or was it just a genuine question?

“No,” Nico replied. “I didn’t.”

“Well, good for you. As long as you’re happy out there that’s what matters.” That definitely felt condescending. But maybe it wasn’t intentional. Maybe that was just what a genuine attempt at a compliment from a rich spoiled girl was bound to sound like. Lord knew Maki had put her foot in her mouth plenty of times before.

“What about you?” Nico asked, though she already knew the answer to that question. A-RISE had stayed together after graduating from UTX, and they were just as popular now as they had ever been. For most of that time Nico had kept up with their career fervently, listening to every new release they put out. It was funny, though, how quickly that love for the group had died when she heard the news about Maki and Tsubasa. And yet, now, A-RISE were famous enough that she couldn’t avoid hearing about them even if she wanted to.

“Mostly the same old,” Tsubasa replied. “Trying to balance schoolwork and a full-time idol career can be exhausting, but I think we’re all managing to get by. Maki’s actually been helping A-RISE out a little bit, you know.” As soon as she heard that Nico glanced back over her shoulder again, unable to help herself, and she locked eyes with Maki for a split second before Maki pulled her glance away. “Isn’t that right, dear?”

“That’s… That’s right,” Maki replied, avoiding eye contact with Nico as she spoke. “Just a little bit. It hasn’t been much.”

“Nonsense,” Tsubasa insisted. “Don’t sell yourself short. Maki’s helped us compose several songs for our upcoming album. She’s been so impactful she’s even managed to earn herself a songwriting credit. The producers took a bit of persuading on that one, but they came around in the end.” Nico knew she didn’t have a right to be angry about that. µ's had disbanded years ago. Maki was allowed to move on with her life. She was allowed to do other things. And yet… Maki had always been µ's’ composer. Not A-RISE’s. She was _theirs_.

It occurred to Nico at that point, as well, just how much Tsubasa dominated the conversation. Maki was barely speaking a word for herself, even when she was the very topic they were talking about. Nico wanted to say something to Maki directly, wanted the chance to speak to _her_ , instead of to her girlfriend, but she couldn’t think of any way to make that happen. Asking Maki about what she had been up to for the past few years just seemed like it was going to invite discomfort.

Nico tried to avoid saying anything, then, hoping that maybe once they were at the restaurant, all sitting around a table together, things might start to become less awkward. It was a longshot, but it was the best plan she could think of at the moment. Unfortunately it was a plan that, like everything else Nico had tried to do that day, was interrupted by Tsubasa just a moment later.

“Did you see something you like?” Upon hearing that voice Nico was confused, and it took her a moment to realize that the comment wasn’t directed at her. She looked over her shoulder again to find that Maki and Tsubasa had both stopped, Maki glancing towards a shop window while Tsubasa was, in turn, looking at Maki herself. Just a moment later, though, Maki pulled her gaze away from the window, looking towards Tsubasa again before shaking her head quickly.

“No, it’s nothing,” she said.

“I saw you staring,” Tsubasa insisted, lips curling up into a wry smile. “What was it?”

“It was nothing,” Maki repeated.

“What’s going on?” Nico cut in, though Tsubasa didn’t look back at her as she answered.

“Maki’s just being her usual coy self, that’s all,” she said, finally slipping her hand loose from Maki’s own so she could walk closer to the window and stare into it herself. Following her gaze Nico could see that it was the window of a jewelry store, with several necklaces on display, front and center. “You can try to hide it all you like, but you know I know your tastes a little bit too well for that to be effective,” Tsubasa hummed, causing Maki’s cheeks to flush faintly.

“We really don’t have to do this right now,” she murmured.

“Nonsense,” Tsubasa replied. “Spoiling you is a full-time job, you know. Now let’s see. If I had to guess,” she went on, eyes working their way back and forth across the display case, examining each necklace present for a few seconds before moving on to the next one. “I would say… This one.” Pressing a finger against the glass Tsubasa declared her pick, and Maki stole a brief glance sideways to see. Judging from how quickly she looked away again, it seemed Tsubasa had been right on the money.

“I was just glancing at it,” Maki insisted. “It doesn’t mean I wanted it.”

“Look at you, always so humble,” Tsubasa chuckled back, pulling herself away from the glass, already moving towards the store’s front door- much to Nico’s shock, as she realized Tsubasa _actually_ had the intention of buying such an expensive, ornate necklace on a whim. “You’ll never admit to wanting anything. But I know you well enough to tell.”

“ _Tsubasa_ ,” Maki stressed, reaching out to grab her girlfriend’s hand just before Tsubasa got out of reach. Tsubasa stopped at that point, looking back at Maki, and Maki returned her gaze with a pleading expression that Nico felt intrusive just for witnessing. “Please. It’s fine.” A second passed in stillness, and then another one, before Tsubasa finally let out a sigh.

“Very well,” she said. “If you insist.”

“Thank you.”

Nico didn’t know what she had just seen- or rather, she had seen it all very clearly, and yet she didn’t know what to make of it. Whatever it had been, though, whatever her opinions on it were, she knew it left a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, though trying to decipher what exactly that feeling was proved to be far more difficult. It could have been easy enough to call it jealousy. Jealousy over the fact that _she_ wanted to be the one spoiling Maki, _she_ wanted to be the one buying Maki nice things, _she_ wanted to be the one having Maki grab her hand like that. And yet, somehow, to dismiss this as jealousy alone felt reductive. It felt like there was something more at play.

As Nico stared at Maki a moment longer, it was easy to see the _discomfort_ written across the other girl’s face. Hell, it had been easy enough to see it the moment she had taken one look at Maki. Nico had noticed immediately. And yet Tsubasa, somehow, seemed like she hadn’t, or if she had she just didn’t care. She seemed hell bent on going into that store, on buying Maki that necklace regardless of whether or not Maki actually wanted that, regardless of whether Maki was comfortable with it, and she had only stopped when Maki had reached out to _physically stop her_. It was so showy, so flashy, so entirely what Nico would expect from someone as rich and famous and pampered as Tsubasa. It was _performative_. Tsubsa didn’t care about Maki’s true feelings. She just cared about putting up the image of a good girlfriend.

Maybe that wasn’t fair, though. Maybe Nico was reading too much into this. Maybe jealousy really was getting the better of her, painting Tsubasa in a light that wasn’t truthful. Maybe Nico herself was the only reason Maki had objected to this so adamantly in the first place. Maybe, if the couple had been alone on their stroll through the streets of Tokyo, Maki would have been perfectly okay with letting Tsubasa waltz into the store and shower her with an expensive gift just for the hell of it. Maybe it was only Nico’s presence that caused the whole situation to turn uncomfortable. Maybe she was the problem.

“Are we getting close, Nico-chan? I have to say, I’m starving.” Nico was yanked from her thoughts by Tsubasa’s voice, causing her to realize Tsubasa’s eyes were on her now, reminding her that she was still supposed to be leading the way to the restaurant. Nico looked back towards the necklace in the window again, towards the hefty price tag that sat next to it, and then she turned her eyes towards Maki again, noticing that Maki was still avoiding looking at either of them in turn. Nico could swear he still looked uncomfortable. But maybe she was just reading too much into it again.

“Yeah, it’s close,” Nico promised, turning around and starting to lead the way once more, trying her hardest to put what had just happened out of her mind. It probably wasn’t even that big of a deal anyway.

Right?


	2. Chapter 2

The walk to the restaurant didn’t take that much longer, and before the building even came into view Nico could smell the familiar aromas of the Chinese diner wafting towards them down the street. Normally it was enticing, and she couldn’t wait to get inside, though right now she couldn’t exactly say she was hungry. Her stomach hadn’t stopped twisting itself in knots since the first moment she had seen Maki and Tsubasa coming towards her from down the street- no, before that, probably. Since the first moment she had arrived in Tokyo, or maybe even earlier. She probably hadn’t felt okay since she had made up her mind to come here in the first place.

When they reached the restaurant Nico was still walking ahead of Maki and Tsubasa, speaking to the host and getting a table for them. They were lead to the back of the diner, towards the kitchen, where they piled into a small booth- Maki and Tsubasa sat on the same side, of course, with Maki against the wall and Tsubasa on the outside, and Nico didn’t care for just how close together they were.

Tsubasa had picked up a menu the moment they sat down, starting to look through it while letting Maki peer over her shoulder (despite the fact there were easily enough menus for all three of them), and Nico picked up a menu of her own, trying to ignore how utterly unappetizing everything looked at the moment.

“Do you drink, Nico-chan?” Tsubasa asked, seemingly out of nowhere, and Nico looked up and across the table to realize Tsubasa was looking through the drink menu as well.

“Not usually,” Nico replied, eyebrows creasing down. She was old enough. She just didn’t care for it.

“Suit yourself,” Tsubasa replied. “I’ll just get something for myself. And you can steal a few sips,” she added, glancing over at Maki. Immediately, Nico tensed.

“She’s not old enough.”

“That’s why she’s stealing mine, Nico-chan,” Tusbasa replied, stating that like it were the most obvious thing in the world. Nico didn’t know why that thought bothered her so much. It wasn’t as if she had any deep-seated moral objection to underage drinking- hell, Nozomi had brought a flask to graduation. Maybe it only bothered her that it was Tsubasa, specifically, getting Maki drunk. And even then “getting her drunk” was an especially strong way of phrasing it. Nico doubted Maki would be stumbling out of the diner when this was all over. But it still gnawed at her mind in a way she didn’t like.

The waiter came by a short time later and they all placed their orders, Tsubasa ordering some sugary alcoholic soda that had caught her eye, while Nico and Maki just ordered their food and left it at that. As soon as the waiter left Nico looked across the table towards Tsubasa and Maki again, though Tsubasa was already leaning up against her girlfriend, capturing her attention before Nico had the chance. Every little interaction between them sickened Nico, made her stomach burn with disgust and jealousy, and she wanted to lean across the booth at that point and physically pry them apart. Of course, that wasn’t an option. The best she could hope for was to distract either of them instead.

“So… How has school been?” she asked, and she obviously directed the question towards Maki, despite the fact she and Tsubasa both attended together. Maki looked back towards Nico, and for a moment she almost looked surprised, as if she hadn’t been expecting Nico to talk to her at all. After a second or two, however, the surprise faded from her face, and she answered.

“It’s been going well enough,” she said. “Honeselty, it’s easier than high school was. Classes aren’t nearly as demanding, and I’ve found myself with a lot more free time.”

“Which certainly isn’t something I’m complaining about,” Tsubasa said, draping her arm over Maki’s as she spoke. It was _too_ much, honestly, and every little action she took, every little display of affection she showed towards Maki seemed exaggerated, like she was putting on a performance. Was Tsubasa always this affectionate, Nico wondered? Or was this solely for her benefit?

“Well, it’s not like that matters when you’re the one who’s busy all the time anyway,” Maki chided, causing Tsubasa to pout at her.

“Being a student and an idol at the same time isn’t easy, you know. I already give you every free second I get.”

“I know, I know,” Maki said.

“Anyway,” Nico cut in again, “are your classes going well? Are you enjoying them?” She cringed at the questions even as they left her mouth, feeling more like a relative grilling Maki at a family reunion rather than an old friend catching up with her. It was the first thought to come into her mind, though, and at this point she was just desperate to interrupt Tusbasa at every opportunity she got.

“They’re going well,” Maki answered. “We’ve been covering some interesting topics. More than high school music classes were ever able to cover, at least.” Maki paused there for a moment, glancing away, before looking towards Nico again. “What about you?” she asked. “How has your job been?”

“It’s retail,” Nico replied, scrunching her face up a little at the thought. The strange part was that she didn’t hate it- normally, she actually quite enjoyed it. Nico was a people person. She enjoyed customer service, enjoyed getting to talk to people and interact with them all day, and she certainly had the charisma to do well in the role. And yet, for some reason, she suddenly felt like she hated her job, because… Because why? Because it felt unimpressive to be working retail when Maki and Tsubasa were both in college, when Tsubasa was a famous idol? Because that job was the thing that kept her in Osaka, away from Maki? It had never bothered her before. So why did it bother her so much now?

“It sounds like it must be exhausting,” Tsubasa commented. “I don’t know how I would keep up in a job like that. You’re stronger than I am.” Once more, those words felt condescending, and once more, Nico couldn’t tell whether they were meant to or not. Was Tsubasa trying to look down on her? Or was she just this bad at being sincere?

“Well, I get through it,” Nico replied, narrowing her eyes a bit as she looked at Tsubasa, while Tsubasa just smiled back at her with that sickeningly sweet, practiced smile.

Their food was delivered just a short time later, and Nico was thankful for the distraction, as fleeting as it might have been. Normally the food here always looked and smelled delicious, and Nico typically started salivating the moment it was set down in front of her. Right now, however, she still hadn’t shaken the nausea that was sitting in the pit of her stomach. Tsubasa at least didn’t seem to have that problem, grabbing her utensils and setting into her food the moment it was placed in front of her, though Maki seemed at least a little more hesitant. Maybe that was just an abundance of manners, though. Maybe Nico was hoping for too much, thinking Maki felt as nervous as she did.

Tsubasa’s drink had been delivered as well, and after a few bites of her food she took a sip, before offering it over to Maki as well. “Do you want some, dear?”

“Thanks,” Maki responded, quickly taking the bottle from Tsubasa, and Nico tensed up as Maki raised it to her lips and took a sip. She seemed terribly eager to do so, and the sight of it made Nico sick to her stomach, until she was turning her eyes away so she could stare down at her own meal instead. She forced herself to start picking at it, not wanting to look strange or suspicious, even if it wasn’t terribly appealing at the moment. The silence that settled over their table as they all ate was easily filled by the other sounds of the diner, by the clatter of noise from the kitchen or by the half-audible conversations from the tables around them, and Nico only hoped that the lack of conversation between the three of them didn’t feel as deafening to everyone else as it did to her.

“You were right, Nico-chan,” Tsubasa eventually said, and Nico didn’t know whether she was thankful for the interruption of the silence or not. “This place is delicious.”

“Yeah, well, I told you it would be,” Nico replied, and for a moment those words were just a little bit more biting than she’d meant them to be, before she tried to force an exaggerated cheeriness back to her demeanor again. “I mean, I know all of the best restaurants around here! I basically know all of Tokyo like the back of my hand.”

“Is that why you got us lost that time we went fabric shopping?” Maki asked. As soon as the words left her mouth half the table seemed surprised, Maki included, as she realized what she had just said. Nico remembered the day Maki was talking about vividly, and there was nothing especially scandalous about it, no reason it _should_ have been inappropriate to mention it in front of Tsubasa. And yet Nico tensed up when it was mentioned all the same, and from the look on Maki’s face she regretted it as well. Tsubasa herself was the only one who didn’t seem bothered by it- or if she did, she wasn’t letting it show.

“Oh?” she hummed, leaning in closer to her girlfriend with a sly narrowing of her eyes. “I don’t think you’ve ever told me this story.”

“There’s not much of a story to tell,” Maki replied, pointedly avoiding Tsubasa’s eyes as she answered.

“Oh, come on now,” Tsubasa insisted. “It sounds entertaining.” Maki was still visibly tense, and Tsubasa’s persistence angered Nico- half for her own sake, and half for Maki’s. After another second, though, Maki conceded, letting out a sigh before starting to recount the story.

“It was after school one day, when all of us were hanging around in the club room,” she began. “Kotori was working on outfits for our upcoming show and she realized she didn’t have everything she needed, so she asked me and Nico-chan to go downtown and pick a few things up for her. And Nico-chan insisted that she knew where we were going, but she got us lost, and we ended up in some part of the city we had never seen before. I kept pointing out that I could just use my phone to get us there as well, but Nico-chan just insisted that she knew where we were. She was way too stubborn to accept that we were lost.”

There was a definite annoyance in Maki’s voice as she told the story, though it was hard to tell what it was directed towards. Back when it had actually happened Maki had certainly been irritated, and it was easy to tell that irritation was aimed towards Nico. But now, three and a half years later, Nico wasn’t sure whether that annoyance still held strong, or whether the frustration Maki was showing now was aimed towards the fact that she was being forced to recount the story instead.

There also wasn't inherently scandalous about the story, sure, but… Nico still couldn’t help but notice the number of details Maki omitted as she told it now. Everything she said was true, but she also failed to mention the constant back and forth bickering that had characterized the entire time, the exact sort of bickering the other members of µ's so routinely insisted was flirting. There was no mention of the part where Maki had taken her phone out to bring up a map and Nico had tried to physically wrestle it away from her, until they had nearly ended up on the ground on top of each other. There was no mention of the part where Maki had finally tugged on Nico’s sleeve and, with a sincere and pleading look in her eyes, told Nico that she was tired of walking and just wanted to get where they were going, and Nico had felt a moment of weakness and reluctantly agreed to let Maki look up the way there. Sure, there hadn’t been any dramatic moment where they had kissed on the corner of a street they didn’t recognize. They hadn’t held hands on the way back to Otonokizaka. There were no profound confessions of love. But that entire day had still undoubtedly been one more brick in the foundation of the house they’d never built together. And now Maki talked about it like it was nothing.

“Well,” Tsubasa chuckled, as Maki finally finished recounting the story, “that sounds like quite the adventure. I guess I should have been a little more wary about letting you lead us here today, then, eh, Nico-chan?”

“I got us here, didn’t I?” Nico retorted, and once more the words came out just a bit more sharp and biting than she’d intended. She couldn’t help herself, though; maybe Tsubasa’s words had just been a bit of lighthearted ribbing, or maybe there had been a genuine malice buried underneath them. Nico wasn’t sure. If they had been intended as a backhanded insult then Nico had just cut through the bullshit and called Tsubasa out directly. And if they hadn’t, she had just been a bitch for no reason.

Tsubasa’s reaction didn’t give it away in one direction or another. A second passed in which she just stared back at Nico, still smiling that professional, fake smile, and then she sat up straighter, and she laughed a little laugh that was just as cryptic.

“Yes,” she agreed. “I suppose you did.”

* * *

The rest of their lunch was uneventful- or if it was eventful, it was eventful in ways that Nico couldn’t pick up on. It was just more of the same: more of Tsubasa’s sickening politeness, more of Maki looking stiff and tense through their entire conversation, more of Nico’s brain spinning off its axles as she overthought and overanalyzed every single minor thing Tsubasa said or did. When the meal was over Tsubasa insisted on paying for all of them, despite Nico’s insistence that she was more than capable of paying for herself, and despite Maki’s terse silence throughout the entire exchange. In the end Tsubasa had won out, and Nico had been left to stew quietly as Tsubasa made a show of adding an enormous tip to their check, just for good measure.

Nico had eaten the better portion of her meal, despite the fact that she hadn’t even been hungry to begin with, and that had only made her feel even more sick to her stomach than she already did. As such she was quite glad to finally get back out into the fresh air, taking a deep breath the moment she was no longer suffocated by the smell of the food coming out of the kitchen.

“So,” Tsubasa said, as they stepped back onto the street. “Lunch is finished. What’s next on the agenda?” She aimed the question towards Nico, and at that point Nico realized she didn’t have an answer. Right now there was really only one thing she wanted to do: talk to Maki alone. But somehow, she doubted Tsubasa was going to let her do that. She hadn’t expected to need an entire itinerary to get through this day, though, and she was still reeling to recover from Tsubasa’s unexpected presence.

“Well, uh, we could go shopping somewhere!” she blurted out. That idea was the first one to come to her mind, though as soon as she said it she realized she didn’t want to give Tsubasa even _more_ opportunities to flaunt her extravagant wealth and shower Maki in gifts. “Or- we could walk through the park! There’s a nice one pretty close to here. Or, uh-”

“Or we could go back to my apartment.” Nico stopped in her tracks the moment she heard that, so abruptly that Tsubasa and Maki nearly crashed into her from behind. Immediately afterwards Nico pivoted around to face them, and from the look on her face, Maki was just as caught off guard by the suggestion as Nico herself was.

“H-Huh?” Nico blurted out, and from the passive smile on Tsubasa’s face she almost had to think this was a joke, though Tsubasa wasn’t giving any further indication that that was the case. “I mean- I wouldn’t wanna intrude like that,” she added, hastily trying to think up reasons to refuse. All day long she’d already felt like she was on the backfoot against Tsubasa, and following Tsubasa back to her apartment just felt like it would be stepping right into the mouth of the lion’s den. Nico didn’t even know why Tsubasa wanted to get her back there, but somehow, she couldn’t assume it was for anything good. Her mind’s worst case scenarios about Tsubasa having a secret murder room tucked away somewhere were probably an exaggeration, but perhaps not by much.

“Nonsense,” Tsubasa insisted, merely shaking her head at Nico’s protest. “You won’t be intruding if I’ve invited you. Besides,” she added on, “after a meal that heavy, it would honestly be sort of nice to go back home and relax for a while. I'm not used to eating that much, and I’m not sure if I’m feeling especially up to walk anywhere else at this point.”

“Well, we would probably have to walk a while back to your apartment anyway, right?” Nico tried to insist, though before she had even finished the sentence Tsubasa was shaking her head, reaching down into her pocket to produce her phone.

“Not at all,” she replied. “I can just give my driver a call. I told him to wait around, so he shouldn’t be that far away.” Her _driver_. Of course she had a fucking _driver_. Nico could remember Honoka talking about getting whisked away in the back of A-RISE’s limo back in high school, but she had always thought that was _A-RISE’s_ collectively (and if she was being more honest, she’d kind of thought Honoka was making it up anyway). To hear that Tsubasa had her _own_ driver, one that was _just_ hers… Nico didn’t even know why she was surprised anymore. Every passing moment was making it clear that Tsubasa probably spent more money in a day than Nico did in a month.

“Well, still,” Nico tried to protest, but she didn’t even know where that protest was going. She looked over towards Maki, some small part of her hoping against any logic that Maki would help to bail her out of this. But the moment their eyes connected Maki was just looking away, staring off towards nothing in particular, and Nico was left floundering on her own instead.

“There’s not some reason you don’t want to, is there, Nico-chan?” Tsubasa asked, sending another chill up Nico’s spine. “If you have something else you want to do, or somewhere else you want to go, we can of course do that. But you didn’t seem like you had anything else planned.” Nico hated how brutally and efficiently Tsubasa kept calling her out, time and time again, and yet she couldn’t even argue back against it. She was still frantically trying to come up with any other excuse to not go back to Tsubasa’s apartment, but by now it would be clear that that was exactly what it was: an excuse. If she’d had a good reason, she would have said it already. In the end she didn’t have a choice but to concede.

“Well, if you're _sure_ we’re not going to be intruding,” Nico said, trying to save any semblance of face she could.

“Not in the slightest,” Tsubasa assured her, reaching an arm out to slide it around Maki’s hip, pulling her in a little closer- notably, causing Maki to flinch and tense up as she did so. And then, to make it worse, Tsubasa said yet another thing that made Nico’s stomach churn: “Maki spends so much time at my apartment that she might as well live there. And one more is hardly a burden,” she added on, smiling at Nico with the sort of smile that Nico _swore_ gave away that she knew damn well what she was doing. “You know what they say. Two’s company, but three’s a crowd.”

“Isn’t a crowd supposed to be a bad thing?” Nico muttered, speaking through teeth that might as well have been fully gritted.

“If you think crowds are a bad thing, I see why you quit the idol business,” Tsubasa chuckled, but no amount of laughter could hide how much that comment didn’t feel like a joke. “Anyway,” she added on, suddenly pulling away from Maki, raising her phone to her ear. “Give me just a moment, I’ll call my driver to pick us up.” And then she was stepping away, waiting for her phone to connect, and speaking into it.

It wasn’t as if Tsubasa went far. She only walked to the edge of the street, and she was still perfectly within earshot, if she chose to be listening. And yet her back was turned, and this was the first time over the course of the entire day that she had actually given Maki and Nico so much as a single _second_ without constantly breathing down Maki’s neck. The moment they were alone- or at least as alone as they were in this situation- Nico looked over towards Maki, and she found Maki already looking back towards her. A few seconds passed in silence, as Nico wracked her brain trying to figure out what to say, feeling that if she was going to have an opportunity to say _anything_ , this was going to be it. Before she had the chance, though, Maki was speaking up instead, causing Nico’s heart to skip a beat the moment she started to talk.

“I’m sorry about Tsubasa,” she said, those words alone damn near knocking Nico off her feet. “I know she can be a lot.” And suddenly, Nico didn’t know how to respond. _A lot_ was an understatement, and she had plenty of words to describe Tsubasa that were far harsher than that. And yet, somehow, unloading all of that vitriol onto Maki right now didn’t seem like a good idea. Nico couldn’t imagine that going over well, and in the end, she just had to nod along slowly, stealing a glance in Tsubasa’s direction.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “She can be. But… You like her anyway, huh?” she asked, glancing back in Maki’s direction just in time to see her eyebrows creasing down into a scowl.

“You’ve been around her for all of an hour,” she chided. “Don’t judge her too harshly based off just that.”

“Well, it’s been a long hour,” Nico replied. “But you’re probably gonna tell me she’s not normally like this, right?”

“She’s _not_ ,” Maki insisted.

“Sure,” Nico replied. “She just happened to pick today to start acting weird, then.” Nico watched Maki’s brows crease down even more as she said that, nose twitching in a little display of anger that she hadn’t seen in years, and Nico knew it was wrong to be nostalgic for something like this, but she just couldn’t stop herself.

“If you’ve got something to say, Nico-chan,” Maki started to say, “then just-” But before she could even finish the thought she was interrupted by Tsubasa walking towards them again, waving her phone between her fingers.

“He’s on his way over here right now,” she said, and Nico suddenly let her own expression go back to normal, covering up any hint of any conversation she had been having with Maki. “He says he’s only about five minutes away.”

“Great,” Nico replied. “I can’t wait.”


	3. Chapter 3

The ride back to Tsubasa’s apartment was suffocating. Unlike the limo that A-RISE had galavanted around in back during high school it appeared that Tsubasa’s personal chauffeur did just drive a normal car- a sleek, expensive-looking black car that surely cost more than Nico made in ten years, but a normal- _sized_ car, at the very least. And, as the day’s perpetual third wheel, Nico had found herself sitting up front next to an older gentleman who at least, mercifully, didn’t seem too interested in holding a conversation, while Tsubasa and Maki sat in back together and Nico stole glances at them every few seconds, as if she were afraid they were going to start fucking right there with her in the car.

The drive back to Tsubasa’s apartment didn’t seem like it should have taken longer either, based on what Nico knew about where it was and the layout of the city, but traffic was bad, and as a result it took far longer than it should have. Already Nico was stressed out enough, and now, with the constant starting and stopping of the car every time a traffic light changed or the car in front of them slammed on its brakes, she was feeling even more sick to her stomach than before.

Nico didn’t know whether it got better or worse, then, when they finally pulled up to the towering high-rise apartment building, and the car pulled off the main road and into the attached parking garage. On the one hand she wanted nothing more than to get out of the car, stop moving, and get some fresh air, but on the other hand, walking into Tsuaba’s apartment felt like a real “out of the frying pan, into the fire” situation. But more and more, as this day went on, it was becoming clear to her that she had never been in control in the first place. It wasn’t like that was going to change now.

The car went up several layers of the garage until it eventually pulled into what looked to be a reserved space, and then Tsubasa got out, thanking her driver as she did so, and Nico and Maki followed suit. The air in the parking garage smelled cool and musty, and a little wet, but right now it was still preferable to breathing the atmosphere inside that car for any longer. It was preferable to being forced to breathe the same air Tsubasa was breathing.

“Right this way, ladies,” Tsubasa said, walking towards one of the doors leading into the building, and Nico didn’t know why even something as simple as that irritated her so much when she heard it. Maybe she really was just at the point where anything Tsubasa said would manage to piss her off, regardless of whether or not it was deserved.

The parking garage looked like any other parking garage, but Nico had been able to tell from the street just how fancy this apartment building looked, and that was something that was confirmed the moment they crossed through the door and stepped into one of the hallways. The floors looked like they were made out of marble- probably fake, but it was impressive regardless- and the walls were lit by some of the most dramatic, over-designed sconces Nico had ever seen in her life. Even the doorframes leading into each apartment had elaborate, intricate designs carved into them, which stood in sharp contrast to the chipping-paint of the door frame outside Nico’s apartment back in Osaka.

With how excessive every damn thing Tsubasa did was Nico was half-expecting her to get on an elevator and take them all the way up to the top floor to reveal that she lived in the penthouse suite, and Nico supposed she was at least a little bit relieved, then, when that wasn’t the case. That relief didn’t last for long at all, though, as soon enough Tsubasa had lead them to the door that appeared to be hers, producing a key and fitting it into the lock, and Nico’s anxiety spiked back up just as badly when the door opened and she saw what was on the other side.

Tsubasa’s entryway was about as big as Nico’s entire apartment. That was the first thing she noticed. Beyond that entryway she could see the rest of the apartment sprawling out in front of her as well: a living room with a long, wide, modern-looking couch, facing towards a television that was probably taller than Nico herself, mounted against massive windows that looked out over the rest of the city. The living area bled into a kitchen that looked just as fancy, with marble countertops and a steel sink, and a stove that was so clean Nico had to assume Tsubasa either never cooked for herself or had it cleaned professionally. She could see other doors breaking off from the living room as well, leading into what Nico assumed were the bathroom and Tsubasa’s bedroom, though she couldn’t quite see into them from where she was standing.

“Please come in, make yourself comfortable,” Tsubasa said, walking into the apartment and gesturing for Nico to follow her. “Take off your shoes, if you would.”

“This is a nice place,” Nico commented, still a little bit in awe as she walked in and left her shoes by the door, though those words failed to actually sound like a compliment. Even still, Tsubasa seemed to take them as one.

“Why thank you,” she replied, laughing softly as she spoke. “It certainly beats living in a dorm with a roommate.” As she said that Tsubasa glanced back over her shoulder towards Maki, and Maki seemed to tense up at that, quickly glancing off to the side instead. The interaction made Nico raise an eyebrow, but before she could question it Tsubasa was speaking again. “Can I get you anything to drink, Nico-chan?”

“I’m fine,” Nico replied.

“Suit yourself, then. Come in, have a seat.” Tsubasa gestured into the living room as she spoke, where, in addition to the couch, there were a few large armchairs set out as well, arranged so that they were at least somewhat looking towards each other. Tsubasa was already walking towards one of them, and after a moment of hesitation Nico started to follow. She glanced over at Maki again, but in doing so found that Maki was already walking straight ahead as well, not looking towards her.

Tsubasa had already seated herself in one of the chairs by the time Nico reached them, and as Nico sat down as well she was suddenly all too aware of every little movement she made, of every little aspect of her posture. Tsubasa was staring right at her, and it made it impossible not to think about those things. Nico could remember this sort of thing from her days as an idol: being hyper aware of how she was moving, of how she was positioning herself and presenting herself on stage, of each little twitch of every single muscle. Right now, though, this felt different. Maybe it was just because she was out of practice, but in the past, Nico could always remember feeling in control of these details. She was putting on a carefully curated performance, and every single thing she did, no matter how minor, was a meticulously cultivated part of that. Right now, though, as Tsubasa’s cold eyes stared into her, she couldn’t help but feel like Tsubasa was seeing right through her.

“Maki,” Tsubasa suddenly said, and the words made Nico’s blood run cold. It didn’t help that, though she was speaking to her girlfriend, Tsubasa’s eyes were locked dead onto Nico as she spoke. “You’ll laugh, but I’ve just realized I think I left my wallet in the car. Tanaka-san shouldn’t have left yet. Would you mind terribly going to get it for me?” Nico’s heart nearly stopped when she heard that request, and as her vision darted sideways to look towards Maki she noticed the stiffness and the hesitation on Maki’s face as well, halfway into one of the chairs, not quite sitting down yet. After a moment, though, she started to stand back up straight again.

“R-Right, of course,” she replied, and something about Maki’s immediate subservience, her willingness to do anything Tsubasa asked even when Tsubasa, by all accounts, should have been the one going out to get her own wallet from her own car, rubbed Nico the wrong way. But of course, that was missing the point: there was no doubt in Nico’s mind that Tsubasa hadn’t misplaced her wallet at all.

“Thank you, darling,” Tsubasa said, glancing sideways at Maki to flash her girlfriend a smile while Maki made her way towards the door, looking back at the two of them for just a moment longer than seemed normal in the process. And all the while Nico remained frozen stiff at the edge of her seat, easily able to read into the subtext of the request: all Tsubasa actually wanted was a moment alone with Nico. And as Maki disappeared through the apartment’s front door, she would get precisely that.

As the door shut again and Nico was left alone with Tsubasa there was a stiff, tense moment of silence between them, and though that same polite smile lingered on Tsubasa’s lips her eyes weren’t nearly as friendly. Nico gripped her hands together tightly, and then she opened her mouth to speak. She didn’t know what she was going to say, but she hoped that if she said _something_ she might be able to get out ahead of whatever subject Tsubasa wanted to raise with her. Unfortunately, she wasn’t quite fast enough.

“Why did you come here, Nico-chan?” The question sent a chill down Nico’s spine, caused her stomach to drop out and a surge of adrenaline to rush through her. Despite that, she tried to hold herself together as she gave the simplest answer she could.

“Tokyo is my home,” she replied. “Am I not allowed to come back here anymore?”

“I mean _here_ , specifically,” Tsubasa corrected. “Why did you want to see Maki so suddenly, so out of the blue?”

“Because she’s my friend,” Nico insisted. “And if I was in the area anyway I saw no reason not to.”

“ _Friend_ ,” Tsubasa repeated, with an inflection that put Nico even more on edge than she already was. “I have to wonder, though, is that really all she is to you? A friend?” And just like that, Nico’s stomach was dropping even further. Tsubasa _knew_. Of course she fucking knew, of course Maki would have told her. But if she did… Why was she asking questions? Why wouldn’t she just say as much? Why would she be trying to trap Nico, to get her to confess on her own? Maybe it was better not to say anything, then.

“Yes, it is,” Nico stated, keeping her tone steady and firm, staring Tsubasa down with the stoniest expression she could muster, not wanting to be the first to budge. “Did she say something to make you think otherwise?” But at that point Tsubasa laughed, and a question Nico had thought had been quite clever was dismissed with little more than a wave of her hand.

“You’re not as good at these games as you think you are, Nico-chan,” Tsubasa said. “Maki hasn’t said anything, and that’s precisely what concerns me. I knew you back then, and I know you now. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other, the way you talk to each other. I’m not an idiot, I can see there's something there. And yet, for some reason, Maki will never admit to any of that, and now you won’t either.” That information was surprising to Nico. She had been worried that Maki would have told Tsubasa everything there was to tell, their encounter in the music room on the day of her graduation included. Knowing that Maki had kept it a secret filled Nico with a glimmer of… _something_. To call it hope would be to admit she was hoping for something in the first place.

“If she hasn’t told you anything that probably means she has nothing to tell you,” Nico insisted, her tone a little more confident now, emboldened by what she’d just heard. Even then, Tsubasa didn’t seem to be buying it.

“No, I’m not sure that’s the case. You’re her dirty little secret, Nico-chan. Whatever happened back then, she refuses to admit any of it to me. And I’m sure you can imagine why, as her _girlfriend_ ,” Tsubasa said, putting an emphasis on that word that made Nico sick to her stomach, “having Maki’s dirty little secret come back into her life like this concerns me greatly.”

“I keep telling you,” Nico replied, doubling down on her lie, “nothing ever happened between us.”

“And I keep telling _you_ ,” Tsubasa replied, “I’m not as stupid as you think I am. Just tell me the truth.”

“I already did,” Nico insisted.

“Did you confess to her?” Tsubasa demanded.

“I didn’t-”

“Did you kiss her?”

“No-”

“Did you fuck her?” Those words, the severity and vulgarity of them, they seemed so _strange_ coming out of Tsubasa Kira’s mouth. Nico realized that she had never much known Tsubasa as a person, but she was quite well acquainted with her public image. The Tsubasa that appeared on stage, in music videos, on posters and album covers, she always seemed so _happy_ , so _friendly_ , so _idyllic_. This person sitting across the room from Nico, though, she was anything but. Her words were harsh and demanding, and they felt cruel, and for some reason Nico felt terrified of her. Tsubasa’s barrage of questions had caught her so off guard that she didn’t know how to respond, even though the answer should have been simple, and before Nico had the chance to say anything Tsubasa was leaning further forward from the edge of the couch, speaking up yet again.

“I’m going to spell this out very simply for you, since you seem to be having a hard time understanding it,” she said. “Maki Nishikino is _mine_. She belongs to _me_. Any fantasies you have about swooping in here and stealing her away from me are best left abandoned, because I’m not going to allow that to happen.” Before, Nico had been having a hard time figuring out what to say in response to Tsubasa. But now, suddenly, words rose up so quickly in her throat that she didn’t even have to think about them.

“She _belongs_ to you?” Nico repeated, clenching her fists together so tightly that her hands were shaking now, speaking the words through gritted teeth. “Is that really what you just said? Is that how you see her?”

“Hm?”

“She doesn’t _belong_ to anyone. She’s a human being.”

“Is this really what you’re going to do now?” Tsubasa sighed out. “High road me over semantics? It’s a figure of speech, Nico-chan.”

“You’re not acting like it is,” Nico snapped back. “I’ve seen the way you treat her. The way you boss her around. The way you ignore everything she says, ignore how uncomfortable everything you do makes her. You act an awful lot like you think she really is your property.”

“Do I, now?” Tsubasa chuckled back, lips curling up into an amused smirk, not seeming to be taking Nico’s words seriously at all. “Why? Because I asked her to go get my wallet for me?”

“You’re treating her like arm candy,” Nico insisted. “Like she’s just some sort of _item_ to you. Like a plaything, or a-”

“Do you realize how stupid you sound right now?” Tsubasa interrupted, speaking with a bluntness that once again caused Nico to stop dead in her tracks. Any amusement that had been on Tsubasa’s face a moment prior had suddenly vanished, and instead she was now staring back at Nico with wide, blank eyes, sending a shiver down Nico’s spine. “Look around you,” Tsubasa said, suddenly gesturing to the space surrounding them, to the sleek furniture and the marble countertops and the tall windows giving a gorgeous view of the Tokyo skyline. “Look where you are. Look who you’re talking to. I’m _rich_. I’m _famous_. I can have any _thing_ and any _one_ I want. I’ve fucked celebrities,” she boasted. “I’ve performed for politicians and seduced their daughters. If all I wanted was a ‘plaything,’ don’t you think I would strive for someone a little more ambitious than a college classmate?”

Nico’s hands were clenched so tightly by that point she was almost afraid her nails were drawing blood from her palms. Her teeth were gritting together so hard she was worried they were going to shatter. Her whole body was shaking, and her stomach was churning. Her chest felt tight, her throat closed up, and suddenly it was a struggle just to speak.

“Why, then?” Nico demanded, her voice more sheepish than she would have liked it to be. “Why her? If you could have anyone, why Maki?”

“Why?” Tsubasa repeated, the blank hostility slowly vanishing from her face as a smile gradually returned. She laughed, leaning back against her chair again, stretching her arms out along the back of it. “Simple. Because I’m in love with her.”

“You’re not,” Nico snapped, speaking so quickly she surprised herself. “You’ve been dating her for two months.”

“Maybe so,” Tsubasa agreed. “But unlike you, I don’t need three years to decide how I feel about someone.” Nico was nearly ready to jump out of her chair when she heard that, to lunge forward across the space between them and throttle Tsubasa, and perhaps the only thing that stopped her was the sound of the apartment door opening up behind her again. She froze just as her hands grabbed at the arms of her chair, and Tsubasa’s eyes moved to the door- it was sickening to see how quickly the true colors she had just been showing melted away, only to be replaced with that same cheerfully pleasant, disgustingly _fake_ mask the moment Maki was in her presence again.

“Hey,” Maki said, as she re-entered the room. “I couldn’t find your wallet, sorry.”

“Ah, you know what? It turns out I had it the whole time,” Tsubasa replied, suddenly confirming Nico’s suspicion as she produced it from her pocket and held it up for her to see. “I’m terribly sorry about that. Please, come have a seat.”

“Actually,” Nico interrupted, standing up from her own chair before Maki had the chance to come any further into the room. “I was just leaving.” She could see the shock written across both of their faces as she said that- while Tsubasa could at least surely understand where it was coming from, though, Nico had to imagine it must have looked strange to Maki, considering she had only been here all of five minutes. A moment passed before Tsubasa spoke again, and though she was still keeping up that cheery persona of the perfect host, now Nico knew not to believe it for an instant.

“Are you sure?” she asked. “I would hate for you to leave so soon after you got here.”

“I’m sure,” Nico replied, and right now she didn’t even care to try to make up an excuse or fake a polite exit. She started to turn towards the door, only to find Maki still looking back at her as she did so, still seeming as confused as ever, and then she felt another little rush of confidence surge through her before she spoke again. “Maki, will you walk me out?” If Maki had looked confused before she looked outright startled now, and Nico couldn’t stop herself from feeling proud of this. She glanced back towards Tsubasa as well, expecting Tsubasa to look similarly surprised by what she’d just asked, or even outright concerned or upset about it. And Nico’s stomach dropped, then, when she saw that Tsubasa was just smiling back at her instead.

“Go ahead,” she said, glancing over towards Maki. “See Nico-chan out.” There was an obvious challenge to those words: Nico had thought she was getting something for herself by finally, after all the hours they had spent together today, getting some time alone with Maki, without Tsubasa looming over them. And yet Tsubasa didn’t seem to care, and the implication there was easy enough to read: Tsubasa simply wasn’t afraid of anything Nico could do. Nico would make her regret that.

“Let’s go,” Nico said, turning away from Tsubasa and walking towards the door just a little too quickly, and she wasn’t making any attempt to hide the scowl on her face at this point either. Maki still looked confused and clueless, but as Nico brushed past her and walked towards the door she was thankful to hear Maki’s footsteps following after her.

Nico wanted to say that it was relieving the moment she was out of Tsubasa’s apartment, the moment she was out of Tsubasa’s _presence_ , and she wanted to pretend that she felt some sense of freedom as she stepped into the hall with Maki following her, finally just the two of them, but to say that would be an oversimplification. Tsubasa’s weight was suffocating, and it still lingered over her even when Tsubasa herself wasn’t there.

“Nico,” Maki eventually said, and Nico had been waiting for that, waiting for Maki to ask the obvious question. Even then, she wasn’t prepared for how vulnerable her name sounded on its own like that, without that honorific Maki had always been so insistent on using for her and her alone. “Did something happen in there?”

“What do you see in her?” Nico demanded, not able to make herself look at Maki as she started to walk down the hall, towards the elevators she had seen on her way in. There was a moment of pause there, and then Nico heard a sigh from behind her.

“She said something while I was gone, didn’t she? You have to understand,” Maki insisted, “she doesn’t mean to put her foot in her mouth as much as she does. She can just be a little… Out of touch with ordinary people. And you know it must be bad when _I_ notice that,” she added on, letting out a bit of strained, awkward laughter that Nico didn’t care to laugh along with.

“She’s not out of touch,” Nico replied. “She’s a _bitch_.” At that point Nico finally heard Maki’s footsteps come to an abrupt stop behind her, and she turned around to find Maki standing her ground now, glaring at Nico with a disapproving expression.

“Watch what you say about her,” Maki scolded. “Need I remind you that’s my _girlfriend_ you’re talking about?”

“Is she?” Nico spat back, not able to hide her disdain any longer. “You could’ve had me fooled. She acts more like your master.”

“ _Nico_ ,” Maki tried to chide, but Nico couldn’t be stopped at this point.

“I’m serious!” she insisted. “The way she’s been pushing you around all day? Treating you like shit? And you should have heard what she was saying while you were out of the room! She acts like she thinks she owns you!”

“You’re exaggerating,” Maki replied, and she was still trying to keep her own voice level, but Nico could see the way Maki avoided eye contact when she said that, betraying something deeper.

“I’m not,” Nico said, stepping closer to Maki now, balling up her fists at her sides while she spoke. “She treats you like some fucking _prize_ that she can flaunt around in public to look good. She doesn’t give a shit about how you feel.”

“She’s not normally like this,” Maki tried to argue again. “Today was unusual.”

“Fine, sure, maybe it was!” Nico agreed, throwing her hands up to punctuate her words. “Does that actually make it any better? After seeing the way she acted today is that really still someone you wanna be with?”

“What are you-” Maki tried to ask, but Nico was still ranting, already talking over her now.

“Do you really wanna stay with someone who would throw you around like a little trophy trying to rub you in my face all day long? With someone who treats you like shit just so she can try to make me feel like shit too?”

“Nico-”

“I saw how tense you were all day long,” Nico insisted. “I saw how much you hated everything she was doing. I saw how _uncomfortable_ you were every goddamn time she tried to-”

“NICO!” Maki finally snapped, cutting Nico off mid-sentence. “I wasn’t uncomfortable because of her! I was uncomfortable because of _you_!”

All the air left Nico’s lungs when she heard that, all the energy left her bones, and all the righteous anger that had been burning away inside her chest felt like Maki had stamped it out in an instant. Suddenly she was left standing there, silent, mouth hanging slightly open, and it was a struggle just to find a way to speak again.

“What are you-” she started to ask, but she didn’t even need to finish the question before Maki was giving her an answer.

“Why did you even come here?” Maki asked, the few feet between them suddenly feeling like a mile. “Was this your plan all along? Trying to break me and Tsubasa up? Was that what you intended from the very start?”

“No, of course not!” Nico replied, though even she didn’t know whether that was the truth.

“Do you know how much it fucking terrified me to receive that text from you?” Maki went on, making Nico’s heart plummet even more. “Do you know how scared I was thinking of why, after three years, you would suddenly want to meet with me alone like this two months after I finally start dating someone else? I was _glad_ that Tsubasa insisted on coming along. I felt _better_ with her there.”

“You could’ve fooled me!” Nico snapped.

“Because I was _trying_ to fool you!” Maki shouted back. “I didn’t want you to know how _freaked out_ I was to be seeing you again, but I guess that’s out in the open now!”

“So you’re telling me this was all _my_ fault?” Nico demanded. “You’re telling me nothing she did today bothered you? Trying to drag you into that jewelry store? Talking over at you at every turn? Making you flinch every time she touched you? That was all just _fine_?” At that point Maki finally broke her eyes away from Nico, and when she spoke again her voice wasn’t as strong as it had been just a moment ago.

“She’s… She’s not perfect,” Maki insisted. “But I’ve told her about the things that bother me, and she tries not to do them. That’s _normal_ in a relationship.”

“Right, just like it’s _normal_ to tell me that you belong to her?” Nico asked, and when she said that Maki looked towards her again, eyes going wide with something that actually appeared to be surprise.

“What?” she asked.

“She said that, while you were gone,” Nico replied. “She said all kinds of things. She doesn’t give a shit about you. You’re just another fancy, expensive thing for her to show off.” Another small pause, and then Maki was turning her head to the side again, avoiding Nico’s eyes once more.

“I’m positive you’re taking whatever she said out of context,” she insisted.

“I’m not,” Nico was quick to reply, taking another step towards Maki as she did so. “She was talking about how _rich_ and _famous_ she is, how she can have anyone in the world she wants, like you were just her latest conquest.”

“Now you’re just flat-out lying,” Maki said.

“I’m _not_ ,” Nico repeated, finally stepping close enough that she could reach out and grab Maki by the arm, and Maki flinched as she did so, but as her head turned to face Nico again Nico swore she could see _something_ behind her eyes that looked so familiar, something she hadn’t seen since that day in the music room three long years ago. “You shouldn’t be with her,” Nico said. “You should- You should be with me.”

“Nico-” Maki said, but that single name was as much as she had the chance to get out before Nico was leaning forward, lifting up on her toes, pushing Maki against the wall and pressing their lips together the same way Maki had done to her all those years ago. Nico’s heart stopped as their lips met, and she could feel Maki go rigid against her as well, and for the long, slow second or two that passed she didn’t know whether that was good or bad, but the fact that Maki wasn’t just pushing her away outright seemed to be a positive sign. Nico could feel her heartbeat racing in her ears, her pulse pounding through her entire body, and she had butterflies in her stomach, and she wanted to hope Maki felt the same. As Nico finally pulled away, as she stared at Maki and Maki stared back at her, there was a long, tense, still moment where it almost looked like she might have. But then that moment was broken, and Maki’s expression began to twist into something that made Nico’s stomach turn.

“Why-” Maki managed to choke out, bringing her hand up to touch her lips, and then suddenly she was wrenching her other arm away from Nico, violently pulling it free from her grip.

“I-” Nico started to say, but Maki kept speaking before she had the chance.

“Why would you do that, Nico, _why_?” she demanded. “What the hell is wrong with you??”

“I just-”

“I have a _girlfriend_ ,” Maki said, voice sounding like she was caught between shouting and tears. “A girlfriend who I _like_ , who I’m _happy_ with, and then you- You just come here and try to _ruin_ everything and I-”

“I thought this was what you wanted!” Nico tried to insist. “I- After the music room, and-”

“The _music room_?” Maki repeated. “That’s why you came here? That was _years_ ago, Nico! I’m over that! I’ve moved on! How could you think _this_ would be what I wanted?” she shouted. “Have you just been holding onto that, all this time??”

“No, of course not!” Nico tried to insist. “It’s- That isn’t even what this is about! I don’t care about us, or if you’re with me! Just- Just as long as you’re not with _her_!”

“You expect me to believe that after you _kissed_ me??” Maki snapped back. “You actually expect me to believe anything you’re saying right now? I- I can’t deal with this,” she said, shaking her head, turning away from Nico. “Please, go away.”

“Maki-” Nico blurted out, but as soon as she’d so much as taken a step forward Maki spun around again, putting a hand between them.

“ _Don’t_ ,” she said. “If you take another step towards me I’m calling security.” Nico’s stomach plummeted, and she froze where she was standing, staring at Maki in still silence for another second before Maki took another step backwards. “ _Leave_ ,” she said. “And next time you’re in Tokyo… Don’t tell me.” And then she turned and walked away, and Nico watched her disappear down the hall, getting further and further from view, until she finally disappeared around the corner and vanished from Nico’s life entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we go, it's finally finished! This one definitely took way longer than I wanted it to, even for something that wasn't actually that long overall. Thanks for your patience in between chapters (or if you're just finding this now congratulations on not having to deal with my terrible update schedule).
> 
> This fic also drew some pretty heavy inspiration from my friend Asallia's second-year fic "I Forget Where We Were," and even if it ended up going in a totally different direction it still lifts pretty heavily from that source. Also her fic is just like, really really good, so you should all do yourselves a favor and go read it next
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/21977356/chapters/52443475


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